Walk With Me

Tonight was family movie night. Toward the end, I had all three girls cuddling with me and I thought “I don’t slow down and do this nearly enough.” Yet, 5 minutes later I’m rushing to get laundry away and harping on the girls to get their rooms picked up and their jammies on. Lydia says, “hey Mom” and comes into my room with a smile on her face like she has something really important to say. But instead of stopping what I was doing and listening to her, I shushed her and told her to finish picking up her room. She walked away without a word. The second I did it, that voice in my head chided me and told me to stop and go listen. Because she had a pep in her step, a smile on her face and it was important to her. So, I went and sat on her bed while she sat on her floor, picking up her things like I asked. I asked her what it was she wanted to tell me and for a moment, she hesitated and didn’t look at me. I had pushed her away once; I don’t blame her one bit for being skittish in

I go to this blog Finding Joy when I need to be reminded that I am not perfect, when I need encouragement during the isolating winters or when I’m feeling alone in Stay at Home Mom land. I read this post  yesterday and I had a major "Ah ha moment". I finally heard someone tell me it was okay to admit where I’m at in my own motherhood journey. “Do you know what I think? I think it’s normal to not like motherhood sometimes. Yep. I said it. So what do you do if you’re in that spot? That not liking of motherhood moment place in life and yet here you are – a mom? The truth is that we all need authentic real moms who are able and willing to mention where they are in this journey." (Rachel Martin, findingjoy.net).   I’m trying to be authentic by admitting I have been in a stage of not liking motherhood. That in and of itself is a horrible feeling. On top of that, boy have I felt the guilt. Because I felt called to this path and I chose this path. I chose to kee

[photo of a photo] This one was had me stuck. When I finally decided which photo to use I realized I should probably ask permission since it's a photo of my parents. (And if they're actually reading this blog I'm sorry I didn't ask, but it's a great picture and here's the reason why I chose this photo...) My parents are strong, caring people. They have worked hard and sacrificed so much for my siblings and me. I am eternally grateful for how much they've supported me, endured the not so good sides of me, and just plain loved me. I'm a lucky daughter. I was practicing with the natural light in our window and as I was taking pictures, my girls were walking by and I realized the glass was catching their reflection. I am amazed at how much of my parents I see in my girls and that makes me smile. What blessings...

[a collection] Today I practiced with a creative filter. As I looked around the living room trying to decide on a collection, my music books caught my eye. I have other collections, but my piano books mean a lot to me. I literally carried many of these books on my back during my college years. Long walks to practice rooms, long nights in practice rooms. (Usually they were stifling hot practice rooms!) My hymnals and organist editions were gifts to me from grandparents and I can't even explain how much those mean to me. I know I will have them until the day I die. Some are books my parents had for years and while I'm pretty sure I asked permission to have them, they just ended up following me around and I still have them. I've used these books in my teaching and now my girls are using some of them. I know this is just a season in my life, but it's a season where I'm not playing as much as I like. Someday, this collection will be added to and overused!

[ground level] I feel like a couple of these themes are repeats, but I don't mind. Today was a cold, rainy day so we did body tracing and the girls got to color them in on the floor. Perfect opportunity to get on their level. I'm starting to test taking pictures in shutter priority mode. Obviously needs work, but that's what this project is all about.

[green] I already had this theme last month and went with a plant. So while I contemplated taking a picture of my daffodils making their way through the ground, I was inspired by something else tonight. This little green cup is part of our bath time ritual. Yes, just used for rinsing hair, but the reason it's important to me is because I love bath night! There's something about water that's so therapeutic so I especially love bath night after those tough, long days. I really feel a cleansing of sorts. A time to wash the day away and get ready for a new one. Plus, the laughter and smiles from the girls makes me so happy!

[rounded] I knew there was a reason for my optimistically low expectations of my photo-a-day project. Right now I'm lucky if I get one or two photos a week. But, better than nothing right? So, in the spirit of this past Easter weekend I have a photo of the eggs that we colored. The rings on this purple egg were purely accidental. Nothing special that we did, it's just how it turned out. I'm finding I like taking macro photos.

[shine] Slowly getting back to a normal routine after being sick for several days. I'm only wishing I would have had the camera out the other day when it was 70 degrees and the subject was fun. Regardless, we did get outside yesterday despite cooler temperatures. The sun still made it worth it to be outside for much of the day. I had a totally different picture in mind until I sat at the picnic table with Bethany as she was dumping sand everywhere. As she did that, the sun would hit and little flecks would reflect the sun and shine.

[building architecture] I'll be honest, it's too cold to go exploring for a good building and I really don't feel like doing it with 3 kids in tow. So, I'm not going to take a picture today. However, I know of someone who takes photographs of architecture for her job and for enjoyment. My sister is an Architectural Historian with the 106 group (based out of St. Paul, MN but expanding to other metropolitan areas). http://www.106group.com/about-us/our-story/ I enjoy looking through her pictures and learning about the various projects she's working on to preserve historical buildings. Check out some of her stuff here: http://heckyespres.blogspot.com/?view=classic

[a feeling] I had to ponder a bit on this one and then realized today I'm feeling content. I've had a hard time feeling content lately. Well, longer than lately. Rachel is almost 2, but some days I feel like I still haven't recovered. I was so exhausted before she even arrived that afterward was even worse. On top of that we dove head first into starting Jon's process serving business and he started doing home inspections (in addition to his full time job) so my days turned into 12+ hour days by myself with the kiddos. Now, I'm not trying to complain, and I continuously remind myself of the blessing of being able to stay at home with my girls. I'm just stating that this has been my reality and needless to say I've been tired, which then leads to a whole host of other feelings and contentment was not one of them. But the other day I think I finally kicked myself in the butt and decided to stop being so hard on myself and to stop feeling so guilty for feelin

[unique] We bought an oak table not long after we moved into our house. One of those gigantic, self storing leaf things from Slumberland. While it was nice, the crack in the middle led to spilled milk all over the stored leaves. One of the chairs did not last long and the finish was not what I had hoped. We took care of this table, trust me. We hated that part of the top already had a small scratch. I truly believe they just don't make things like they used to. So, I started researching. I wanted a table that was simply functional. Especially with young kids. Something that didn't cost an arm and a leg. The more I looked, the more I realized how possible it was to just make my own. Based on other farmhouse style tables, I designed my own to fit our needs. Knowing this was my first attempt at a big project, I simply used pine knowing that it would ding and scratch a lot worse than oak. However, it was all about functionality. Jon's dad helped me build our table last May and

I'm reviving a little blog in an attempt to work on a Photo-a-Day project. While I keep busy around the house and I have things like teaching piano and water aerobics to give me a little bit of a life outside of raising kids, I found I needed a challenge. I realize photography is kind of a fad right now, but I have found great enjoyment in taking photos. I feel it allows me to be creative and for me, it brings me into the moment with my girls. Some may say that you focus more on taking the picture than being in the moment with your kids, but I find quite the opposite to be true for me. While the Olympus was a nice camera, it was an older model and way above my head. I enjoy photography, but I just don't have the time to decipher cameras made for professional photographers. So, we downsized to a Canon with simpler features that I can actually understand as I'm learning to take better photos. I'm hoping this is something I will stick to in order to continue to challenge m

[ground level] This is why I love taking pictures. I am reminded that it's more about the beauty in the imperfections than it is about being or having something perfect. I was actually lying on my back, in the snow pointing the camera up the hill toward Rachel. Even though her face is blurry, I just love everything about her expression and those chubby little cheeks! I also like how the sun reflected in the background. Again, not perfect but beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

[rise] I'm trying to get caught up and this is the best photo I could find for this theme. Another test with macro. The way this leaf was floating on the water makes it looks as if it's rising up into the air. This was in our "sidewalk swimming pool" and the girls were jumping all around me in the water. That I managed to get such a still, fairly clear shot is a pretty amazing feat.

[green] I'm not very Irish so St. Patrick's Day goes unnoticed around here. So, for green I chose to test the Macro feature. We're attempting to start some vegetables from seed this year. I will admit that this particular cucumber plant did not survive. I'm trying to find that balance of keeping it moist without drowning it and maintaining a good temperature in our basement. The girls helped me plant 1 round and we started a little too early as things sprouted up way faster than anticipated in our makeshift greenhouse. So, we are trying another round and hoping these will make it to warmer weather in a container garden outside this summer. If all goes well, we'll have cucumber, zucchini, tomatoes, peas, and some herbs.

[happy] These girls bring me more joy than I have ever known. They are also the source of frustration and worry, but that's what you sign up for as a Mom. And all that not-so-good stuff washes away when you pause to remember the beauty and innocence of being a child and let it bring joy to you as an adult.(Yes, Bethany has bread bags inside her boots. We don't have rain boots and I thought this would help as we walked around the block. Then, we hit the swimming pool in front of our house...)