Death Lose Your Sting

Not long ago, my five year old came to me in tears and when I asked her what was wrong she said, “I’m going to miss Grandpa when he goes to heaven.” (I will later discover this was sparked by her finding the book “What is Heaven Like” by Beverly Lewis tucked away on the shelf.) I can’t not answer; I don’t want to pretend that death isn’t a part of life. But, what do I do when she speaks the very fear that creeps in my heart? Do I try to be strong and pretend I’m not just as impacted by that same thought? Do I break down sobbing and not get up the rest of the day? What do I say when my girls ask me why God doesn’t give Grandpa his memories back or asks if God will give him His memory back when he is in heaven? How do I answer the very questions I’m asking God?

Ugh! There is no instruction manual for this sort of thing. I mean, no instruction manual for parenting alone is so UGH! But, for this?

Of course, it is my hope that Dad will be with us for many years; right now, he is maintaining. Yet, already his quality of life is compromised. Currently, this cruel disease is not survivable. For Dementia/Alzheimer’s there’s really no such thing as improvement. There is maintaining, but no getting better.

What do I tell my 5 year old, what do I tell myself about God, heaven, death? Well, all I can do is cling to the promise given to us through Christ’s death on the cross. And trust me, some days it’s a promise that's difficult to believe in the midst of this hard. All I can do is tell her that we don’t get to decide when it’s our time to be in heaven with God. But, what we can do is decide to believe in One far greater than ourselves and trust that in the midst of the beauty and the hard, He is there walking alongside us. He wipes our tears and holds our hand. And when it’s a difficult concept to grasp for a child, I tell her that is why family and community is so important. You find people and be open to those who are there to walk alongside and lift you up; God living among and through us.

And then I tell her when we he does go to Heaven, Grandpa will have his memories and Grandpa will remember the joy and laughter and even the sadness. And even though we will be sad, we cling to the Easter promise of hope and resurrection. Every moment, hour, day is a chance for resurrection and new life. And though it is Easter, I hold on to the words of this Christmas hymn:

Come, Thou long expected Jesus
Born to set Thy people free;
From our fears and sins release us,
Let us find our rest in Thee.
Israel’s Strength and Consolation,
Hope of all the earth Thou art;
Dear Desire of every nation,
Joy of every longing heart.

As I must remind myself today, let me help you remember what this Easter season is all about. We're human, we probably will always have some form of fear of death. But, through the gift given to us at Christmas and the miracle of Easter, death lost it's sting. We can be hopeful and joyful in this life, regardless the circumstance and we can cling to the promise of eternal life.